I KID YOU NOT!!!!!!

Large Christian Organization Starts Petition Against Sarah Palin 29APR14

FINALLY, the true Church awakens to challenge those who have been twisting and perverting the teachings of Jesus Christ for their own financial and political gain. Hope springs eternal the majority of Christians will have their eyes opened and realize the prosperity gospel and the lies, racism, hate, deception and fear being promoted by the extreme fanatical right wing politicians and religious leaders is wrong and the in total opposition to the basic, core teachings of Jesus. Click the link to sign the petition from +Faithful America .....
Leslie Salzillo

attribution: None Specified

Faithful America is the largest and fastest growing online community of Christians, putting faith into action for social justice. They have watched the right-wing political agendas highjack the true messages of Jesus, and this faith-based organization will no longer be silent. In her ever smug and sarcastic way, Sarah Palin, made an incredibly hateful, bizarre, and insensitive statement during the annual NRA/NRAAM event. Speaking to a cheering NRA crowd, Sarah Palin spouted:

"…Water-boarding is how we baptize terrorists."

In disgust, and to distance themselves as Christians, from the pseudo-Christian Palin claims to be, Faithful America started a petition against her, and began the petition with these words:

"This is what we've come to in America: A former candidate for vice-president can equate torture and Holy Baptism, and one of the nation's most powerful political lobbies erupts into cheers and applause. As usual, Palin's remarks are already making international headlines, once again portraying Christianity as a religion of hatred and violence. But this time, let's show just how many Christians are appalled by Palin's twisted misrepresentation of our faith."

Here is the statement they released to the media:

"For Christians, torture is not a joke or a political punchline, but a ghastly reminder of the suffering of Jesus upon the cross. By equating it with Holy Baptism -- the act by which we are united with Christ in his death and resurrection -- Sarah Palin is blasphemously twisting our faith into a weapon of hatred and violence. No media outlet should cover her remarks without reporting on how sincere Christians of all theological and political persuasions are appalled."

This isn't the first time Faithful America has entered into the political arena. They have many campaigns running simultaneously including:

*Let The Church Reopen Its Doors To The Homeless
*Anti-Gay Hate Isn't Religious Freedom
*Stand With The Sisters Against A Dangerous Fracking Pipeline
*Don't Take The Koch Brothers Money
There's even one about Rush Limbaugh:
*Do The Bishops Side With Rush Limbaugh or Pope Francis

Being a left-wing Christian, with a splash of Buddhism, I am elated to see more and more people of faith, speak out against the religious extremists. Last week, Dan Haseltine, the lead singer of the popular Christian rock band, Jars of Clay, tweeted in support of same-sex/equal marriage. It was a courageous move, as he risked losing friends, family, fans, and his livelihood in order to stand up for what he believed. Needless to say the band is experiencing backlash. At the same time they are also receiving new fans and support. Perhaps Faithful America will get involved. Here's to all the good work this Christian online community is accomplishing - and heres to their perfect axiom:

Love they neighbor. No exceptions.

Faithful America: Sarah Palin Petition

Originally posted to Leslie Salzillo on Tue Apr 29, 2014 at 12:11 PM PDT.

Also republished by Progressive Atheists and Street Prophets . 

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2014/04/29/1295557/-Christian-Organization-Starts-Petition-Against-Sarah-Palin?detail=email 

Sermon on Baptism and the Devil 27JAN13

I believe in the Devil and his demons and the struggle between good and evil in this world. My faith is in God the Father and Son and Holy Ghost, and the forgiveness of sins and the promise of salvation and the resurrection through Jesus. I believe in the legions of Angels God has watching over us, and the power of the Saints among us to help all believers along the way, if we have faith and seek them out. This sermon on Baptism is a powerful statement of faith and God's love and grace, and the Devil's constant attempts to turn us from God. From the Sarcastic Lutheran, Rev Nadia Bolz-Weber....

2013-1-27 NBW Sermon    <—-click here to listen along.

In the church of my childhood it was taught that the “age of accountability” was somewhere around 12. To hit the age of accountability was to, like,  spiritually go off of your parents’ insurance. At age 12 the clock starts ticking, spiritually speaking; you know right from wrong now and because of this you are accountable for every time you screw up. And if you sin knowing right from wrong and then die before you chose to be baptized, you might burn in Hell for eternity. So age 12, as you can imagine, is when kids start choosing to get baptized. The lag time between entering the age of accountability and having your slate wiped clean through baptism can be terrifying. Many of us kids would pray not to die in a car crash before we were baptized, like other people pray to not get sick before their employee benefits kick in.  So basically, Twelve year old Church of Christ kids experience a wave of devotion like a Great Awakening comprised only of 6th graders. And this is partly because we were all terrified of the devil and temptation and sin. Since, as we were told, all the bad things we’d done may have been washed clean in baptism, but the devil was waiting right outside the baptistery to try and get us to be bad again.

While I am certain evil exists I’m not sure it’s in the form of a red man with horns and pitchfork and tail.  That image that terrified me as a child is now a bit too cartoon-y for me to take seriously.

31 years later I still don’t know what to do with talk of the devil and demons or that whole “powers and principalities” thing. Like a good middle class mainline Protestant, I tend to arrogantly look down my theological nose at all of it as superstitious snake handling nonsense, as though it’s all the embarrassing spiritual equivalent of a Monster Truck Rally. At best I think the talk about demonic forces I hear in some parts of Christianity is no more than a result of ignorance and lack of education; at worse it’s just a way to externalize our own sin. Because if the Devil made me do it, then I don’t have to face the reality that perhaps I made me do it. Not to mention it’s all so ripe for abuse:  some of you guys have fallen victim to other Christians trying to cast out the so-called demon of homosexuality as though spiritual warfare and culture wars are one in the same thing.

Yet I know for a fact that evil exists.  And more and more I think it’s dangerous to pretend otherwise. Call it the devil, call it darkness call it what you will, it is out there. Darfur, Sandy hook, Penn State.  But it can be more subtle than that too: white lies, self-involvement, cheating.  Addiction, compulsion, depression. There are forces that seek to defy God that swirl around us and even within us.

Which brings me back to baptism and the Devil.  How awesome is that a few minutes ago we stood here and vowed to renounce the Devil and all his empty promises.  Take a moment to take that in.  When else do you get to stand in public and renounce evil?

So were you to ask me what good is baptism to us, I would have to say that, in part, it is humans partaking in an event of God which defies evil and forever claims us as God’s own.

Which is nice theological language, but what good is it to us really?  I mean really, really.  Well…that’s where Luther comes in.  Luther had some very real encounters with what he believed to be the devil.  But for him, rather than the devil tempting him to do bad things, the devil mainly tried to get him to doubt the power of God’s promises.  When Luther started to revert back to thinking that God was an angry hostile vengeful God he knew that it was the Devil trying to get him to doubt God’s grace.  And when Luther experienced this despair and discouragement he was known to throw an occasional ink pot at the devil while yelling I am baptized! Not I was baptized, but I am baptized.

To yell I am baptized! is to again renounce the devil and all his empty promises.  To yell I am baptized! at the forces of discouragement and addiction and every other thing that tries to rob you of the peace that is yours in Christ is to again renounce the devil and all his empty promises.  To yell I am baptized! when the power of fear and self-loathing and hubris and hatred creep in to try and tell you who you are, is to again renounce the devil and all his empty promises.  And this is now at your disposal Cassie.  It may sound crazy, but use it. It should totally come in handy.

Renouncing the Devil is awesome, but if baptism is in some part about the defiance of evil and all of its empty promises, it is even more so about the receiving of God and all of his binding promises.   So today as the waters of your baptisms glisten on your head from the mark of the cross, may you know this: You had about the same chance of choosing your God as you had in choosing your parents.  This God of Sara and Abraham, this God who so madly loved the world God created that God slipped into skin and walked among us as Jesus…this God who speaks through crazy prophets and kisses lepers and makes whole that which is broken, this very God has chosen you…claimed you and named you as God’s own.  It’s a wonderful mercy.  A wild mystery to have a God who comes down to claim you in water and words forever marking you as God’s own.

These promises of God are forever bound to you Cassie.  And to all the baptized.   It’s what we call a “done deal” You can’t escape them.  Because these promises will hunt you down and bring you new life as you die and are raised again and again in your baptismal walk.

And this will happen to you Cassie; this death and resurrection of the baptismal life.

So I really hope that you grow to love metanoia, which is repentance, changing your thinking and returning to God. For in the act of repentance there is the hope of new thinking, new acting, and new life which you simply don’t get when you still think you are right about something.  Don’t listen when people say that following Christ means being right.  To follow the crucified and resurrected one is to live as a people who get to be wrong –and be re-born to new life in Christ.  So I hope you are often wrong Cassie …so that you might drink deeply from this grace of God which makes all things new.  Because this is now a life of returning to your baptism.

So I hope in this baptismal life ahead of you that when you encounter water – this most common of substances which surrounds land and comprises our bodies…I hope when you drink it in; when you dive deep in a pool of it; when you wade in a stream of it; that even when you wash dishes with it; I hope that you are reminded of the promise of life eternal: a promise that life with God is as close to you as water and bread and wine and human bodies.  Because to be Christian is to know that the eternal is always contained in the present.

So may you not neglect to gather around the table in the community of Christ with all the other blessed and annoying sinners so that there you might behold who you are and become what you receive:– the very body of Christ for this hurt and broken and beautiful world.

And when voices other than God’s try to tell you your worth – when the categories of late stage capitalism or the siren song of professional advancement or the various ridiculous ranking systems in society, or your own head tries to tell you your value and trust me, this will happen, but when it does may you again remember your baptism – remember that you have renounced the Devil and all his empty promises and are marked with the cross of Christ and sealed by the Holy Spirit and that you belong to God, because nothing…nothing else gets to tell you who you are.

Amen

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/nadiabolzweber/2013/01/sermon-on-baptism-and-the-devil/

Sermon for the ordination of Matthew Nickoloff 16SEP12

WE do have the God that is the basis of our faith, our salvation and our lives...

Matthew was the Vicar (seminary intern) for 14 months at House for All Sinners and Saints and this past Thursday I was honored to preach at his ordination.  He is planting a church now in Rochester, NY.  You can “like” a page on Facebook called South Wedge Mission to learn more.  Literally today is his first day on the job.

Mine and Matthew’s hands at the baptismal font.

Now when Jesus came into the district of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, ‘Who do people say that the Son of Man is?’And they said, ‘Some say John the Baptist, but others Elijah, and still others Jeremiah or one of the prophets.’ He said to them, ‘But who do you say that I am?’ Simon Peter answered, ‘You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.’ And Jesus answered him, ‘Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father in heaven. And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not prevail against it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.’ -Matthew 16

Years ago on a bright Tuesday in March I was driving to seminary and I found myself stuck in traffic on I-25.  Sitting in a dead stop on the interstate I stared up into the clear blue Colorado sky and thought “What in the world  am I doing?  I don’t believe a word of this Jesus stuff. I mean, It’s a fairy tale”.  But then in the very next moment I thought “except…throughout my life…I have experienced it to be true.”  I experience the gospel to be true even when I can’t believe it. And honestly sometimes I believe the gospel even when I don’t experience it.  And I suggest to you today that this is why we have and even why we need Word and Sacrament. Because see, we are a forgetful people.
And it is to this office of Word and Sacrament that you have been called Matthew and I feel like in an ordination sermon, the preacher should in some way address the level of preparedness of the ordinand in question, and I am in a position to do just that.
So here we go…You, Matthew Nickoloff,  have demonstrated great gifts intellectually, pastorally, and theologically. You and Leah have left your mark on the church you served as a Vicar and we are the better for it. You have been awarded a Masters of Divinity (and I think some like, bonus Masters when you were at Southern). You have learned to do pastoral care by text message.  You have learned how to pretend not to be bored out of your last mind at clergy conferences.  You have learned how to create liturgies and write shorter sermons and admit when you’re wrong. You have learned to forgive and how terrifying grace really is.  You have learned what it feels like to pastor broken people as a broken person. You have learned how to learn. You have learned how beautiful and maddening the people of God can be. You even got through CPE.
So if asked if you are prepared to hold the office of Word and Sacrament the only answer is: of course you’re not.  Don’t be ridiculous.
But before you take this personally you should know that when addressing the graduates at Pacific Lutheran Theological Seminary I said that if they were worrying that they might not have what it takes to lead this church that they should  stop worrying. of course they don’t have what it takes to lead the church but that fortunately they do have the God it takes. And here today I say the same to you.
You Matthew Nickoloff, besides these things you’ve learned and experienced and quite apart from any giftedness you may possess, first and foremost you have the God it takes for you to be a pastor.
And this is what you can never ever forget. Because as I mentioned earlier, us Christians are a forgetful people.
I think Jesus meant for us church leader types to keep this in mind, that it is God who makes us worthy of our calling and that God’s people are forgetful and perhaps that is exactly why in our Gospel text for today, Jesus chose Peter.
Jesus chose Peter.  Peter of all people.  This week I started wondering what in the world would a candidacy committee think of that guy? Peter wasn’t exactly a winner.  He seems to always be over reaching or totally falling short. Jesus could have picked one of the nice, pious, righteous apostles, one a bit less embarrassing, who doesn’t blurt out the wrong answers in class all day but instead he chose Peter who was kind of a buffoon and that’s when he wasn’t being a total sycophant. See, I have a theory about this text where Peter is named the rock.  I think that it must have been redacted.  I think what really happened is that Jesus said “You are Peter, dumb as a rock…on which I will build my church” and that is our legacy to this day.
But the thing to remember is that it’s not that Jesus had the guy it took to lead the church, it’s that Peter had the God it took to lead the church and that’s different.
So I’d like to suggest that Jesus didn’t choose Peter because he was the first to confess Christ…after all, Peter’s moment of glory lasted about 10 seconds before he said something stupid enough for Jesus to say get behind me Satan.
So I don’t think that Jesus chose Peter because Peter understood everything or because Peter was clever or because Peter had the best prayer life or because Peter had the mildest personality and he just “seemed” like a pastor.  And Peter wasn’t exactly chosen because of his loyalty –  lest we forget, it was Peter who denied Jesus. 3 times, if you recall. And here’s the real kicker: I don’t think Jesus chose Peter DESPITE the fact that Peter would deny Jesus 3 times on the night he died.  I think Jesus chose Peter BECAUSE Peter would deny him.  Jesus knew that only a forgiven sinner could really preach the Gospel.  Only forgiven sinners can preach the Gospel.  It’s always been that way so I’m not sure at what point the church decided it’s leaders were to be sinless examples of perfect piety.  I might not give them the keys to my house but only a forgiven sinner can be really trusted with the keys of the kingdom.
See, as with Peter, you are entrusted the keys of the Kingdom.  This is heavy stuff Matthew.  What you bind on earth will be bound in heaven and what you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.  Which sounds like you get to judge people…like you get to decide what God thinks of folks.  But that’s not it.  You are to be, as the text says, a steward of the mysteries of Christ and for all his faults, it is those exact mysteries that Peter actually understood.
Peter knew what it meant to really screw things up and be given grace.  That is to say, he knew about binding and loosing.
So as a Pastor I ask that you take binding seriously.
It’s called Baptism. Pour water on God’s children in baptism and bind unto them the promises of God.  Mark them with the cross of Christ – for what does being sealed by the Holy Spirit mean if not that the oil on our foreheads glistens with the shimmering promises of a God who claims us and names us as God’s own? That is a binding.  Remind God’s people of this as often as you can.  Because we are a forgetful people. 
And to be sure, there is loosing to be done in this work. It’s called confession and absolution. It’s called forgiveness of sins.  Loose from God’s people that which weighs them down, their sin, shame, and despair.  Loose from them their pride, anger and resentment and guilt for not being able to live up to even their own values.  Remind them that God is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. Loose them.
And here’s some job security for you- you’ll need to do all of this again and again and again. Never assume that just because your people leave on Sunday believing the gospel that when they return a day or a week, or an hour later that they still believe it. Don’t assume that if they experienced this thing to be true that they still do… Put Jesus in their ears and mouths and don’t stop.   Because we Christians are a forgetful people.
That is your charge… Binding, loosing, putting Jesus in the ears and mouths and eyes of God’s people.  Being a forgiven sinner reminding a forgetful people of God’s love and mercy. Your charge is not to be a professional Christian on their behalf.  You are not charged with being a quivering mass of emotional availability on their behalf.  You are not charged with doing good works on their behalf.   You are charged with preaching the gospel and presiding at the table.  You are charged with none other than putting Jesus in their ears and mouths so that they might believe the good news and continue to share it with others. That they might experience this thing to be true and that YOU too, a beautiful forgiven sinner might experience this thing to be true. God will do this.  For you Matthew Nickoloff have the God is takes to make you the pastor people need you to be.
May God bless you and keep you.  May God’s face shine upon you.  May God look upon you with favor and give you peace. I love you. Amen.
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/nadiabolzweber/2012/09/sermon-for-the-ordination-of-matthew-nickoloff/ 

Sermon: Baptism of Our Lord and How To Tell Demons to Piss Off 9JAN11

Another great sermon from Sarcastic Lutheran with lessons in life for all of us......one may not agree with everything in it, but the core message is a crucial one for all believers and those interested. I do believe in the devil and demons and the evil they bring to this world, but I also have faith in Christ in the power to resist this evil through Him.

Sermon: Baptism of Our Lord and How To Tell Demons to Piss Off

At the Baptism of our Lord heaven simply could not contain God the Father and God the Spirit who interrupt the regularly scheduled programming to bring a very important message.  That message is that this Jesus who just moments ago was standing in line with all the other rif-raf, this Jesus who has just been baptized is the Son of God, the beloved in whom God is well pleased to offer to the whole world. That was God’s first move.  From this place of identity Jesus was then equipped for his purpose.   Check out the next few verses:
And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, the Beloved, with whom I am well pleased.” Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. ³The tempter came and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.” ⁴But he answered, “It is written, ‘One does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”
And the Word that had most recently come from the mouth of God was This is my beloved in whom I am well pleased. Identity. It’s God’s first move.

I was reminded this week by my friend Dave Lose  that when The Devil says to Jesus "If you are the Son of God...." he calls into question Jesus' relationship with his Father because he knows that Jesus, as with Adam and Eve before him, is vulnerable to temptation precisely to the degree that his is insecure about his identity and mistrusts his relationship with God.”
So perhaps there’s a reason why when Jesus was baptized and given an identity and purpose from God that the devil’s first move was putting this very identity and purpose into question saying If you really are what God says you are… Identity. … It’s like the end of the spool of thread that when gotten ahold of can unwind the whole thing.

I wonder if we too are vulnerable to temptation: whether it be temptation to self-loathing, or self-agrandisment; depression or pride, self-destruction or self-indulgence….I wonder if we too are prone to these temptations precisely to the degree that we are insecure about our identity from and relationship to God. We are vulnerable to darkness precisely to the degree in which we doubt the identity and purpose given us by God on the waters of our baptism.
For the record, I have very little predilection for thinking about demons or the devil or that whole powers and principalities thing.  Like a good middle class mainline protestant, I tend to arrogantly look down my theological nose at all of it as superstitious snake handling nonsense. As though it’s all the spiritual equivalent of a Monster Truck Rally.  At best I think all that talk about demonic forces is no more than a result of ignorance and lack of education. At worst it’s just a way to externalize our own sin.  Because if the Devil made me do then I don’t have to face the reality that perhaps I made me do. It’s all so ripe for abuse…. some in this room have been victim to other Christians trying to cast out the so-called demon of homosexuality as though spiritual warfare and the culture wars are one in the same thing.

So I hope you hear me when I say, I in no way have any desire to believe in spiritual warfare yet in the last couple years I’ve quietly began to change my ideas about this.  Based on the Biblical text and my own experience, I now think that there are indeed forces that seek to defy God in the world and that this is demonstrated not only in the evil we see swirling around us in the world – demonstrated not only in the bullets which flew from a legal handgun in Tuscon yesterday into the head of a US congresswoman.. bullets that killed a 9 year old girl and 4 others.  That sort of defiance of God’s love and purpose for humanity is obvious.  But I think that in more subtle ways these same forces also can seek to defy God’s purpose in our own individual lives… and in our Christian communities. And the first move of the devil is always the same. Attack your identity as the beloved with whom God is well pleased.  And the precision by which the Devil, or evil or darkness (what ever you want to call it) worms into our own lives in just this way is breathtaking.  Like a radioactive isotope custom made for each of us calling into question our identity as children of God.
The longer I try to participate in God’s redeeming work in the world the more I am convinced despite my proclivity to cynisicm that there are indeed forces that seek to defy God. And nowhere are we more prone to encroaching darkness than when we are stepping into the light.  If you have ever experienced sudden discouragement in the midst of healthy decisions, or if there is a toxic thought that will always send you spiraling down or if there is a particular temptation that is your weakness then I make the following suggestion: take a note from Martin Luther’s playbook and defiantly shout back at this darkness “I am Baptized” not I WAS but I AM baptized.   When Luther himself was hold up in a castle translating the Greek Bible into German so that for the very fist time somewhat regular folks could read the Word of God for themselves, well, while he was doing this he struggled mightily with doubt and discouragement from what he understood to be the devil.  And he was known to not only throw the occasional  ink pots at whatever was tormenting him and causing him to doubt God’s promises, but while doing so he could be heard throughout the castle grounds shouting “I am baptized”.

Lutheran Theologian Craig Koester says that From an earthly perspective, evil can seem so pervasive as to be unstoppable.  And watching the evening news would seem to support that  idea. But from a heavenly perspective evil rages on earth not because it is so powerful, but because it is so vulnerable. Koester claims that Satan rages on earth because he has already lost and he is desperate”   So if you are going to join me in this crazy practice of picturing our discouragement and doubt as a force that wants to defy God then join me in picturing it not as powerful and unstoppable but picture evil and darkness for what it is:  desperate and vulnerable…. because a light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not, will not can not overcome it
And when the forces that seek to defy God whisper IF in your ear….if God really loved you you wouldn’t feel like this…If you really are beloved then you should have everything you want … Remember that you, all of you, have been marked with the cross of Christ and sealed by the Holy Spirit in your.  God has named you and claimed you as God’s own in the waters of your baptism.  You, like our Lord, have been given identity and purpose, so when what seems to be depression or compulsive eating or narcissism or despair or discouragement or resentment or isolation takes over try picturing it as a vulnerable and desperate force seeking to defy God’s grace and mercy in your life and then tell it to piss off and say defiantly to it “I am baptized” because the water that covered you in God’s promises in your baptism is simply the only thing that gets to tell you who you are.
And this is not a matter of having high self-esteem.  This is about nothing less than God’s redeeming purpose in the world and that purpose will prevail.  Indeed has already prevailed. Amen.