MAXINE ON SPRING CLEANING

Maxine at Starbucks

I was in Starbucks recently when I suddenly realized I
desperately needed to fart. The music was really loud so I timed my fart with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs I started to feel better.

I finished my coffee and noticed that everyone was staring at
me! And suddenly I remembered I was listening to my iPod. That's what happens when old people start using technology!

 

MAXINE IN THE GARDEN!!!!

SENT to me by my friend Pam, who knows me oh so well!!!! Thanks Pam!!!!

 

MY BALCONY GARDEN 2012

JUST a few pics of my balcony garden, flowers and herbs (for cooking yous guys!), and the Maxine pic was sent to me by my friend Pam, who knows me so well!!!!

“I think gardening is nearer to godliness than theology. True gardeners are both iconographers and theologians insofar as these activities are the fruit of prayer ‘without ceasing.’ Likewise, true gardeners never cease to garden, not even in their sleep, because gardening is not just something they do. It is how they live.”
- Vigen Guroian
from The Fragrance of God

OH MAXINE!!!!

KITCHEN WISDOM WITH MAXINE

Kitchen Wisdom---Two different opinions...   #1 Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of an ice cream cone to prevent ice cream drips           #2  Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake!  You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway!  To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.     #3  Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix.  Keeps in the pantry for up to a year.  When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.   #4  Go to the bakery! Hell, they'll even decorate it for you!  If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant 'fix-me-up.'   #5  If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: 'I made it, you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!'  Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.   #6  Celery? Never heard of it!  Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.       #7  The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I don't.  Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.   #8  Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! All your pains go away!  If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dish washing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.   #9  Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.  Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.  Leftover Wine??????  HELLO!!!!!!!     Lastly, if you don't forward  this to 1 of your friends within  the next 5 minutes your belly  button will unscrew and your  butt will fall off.  Really.... It's true!  Have I ever lied to you....